i find myself jealous of the stupidest things. i know they're stupid and yet they still consume my every thought.
i just feel like i don't get loving words from them. i feel like a third wheel. like i'm just not good enough because i don't give the best advice...or i'm not as funny as the other one.

these are the kind of times when i could just leave without regret.
and meet new people.

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i hope she realizes that i'm staying distant. even after what's her face leaves. grr. i hope when i have a boyfriend i can have a stable relationship with my friends and him. and have the ability to have them both at the same time. but. i'm able to function as a human being. thats the difference.yeah those were two different subjects. anyway.
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my cousin is getting married on saturday. yet again...still feel like my life is just blah and standing still. i can't believe she's getting married....she's 22. i remember when we were just little kids and we were playing with barbies.
and then natalie had a baby last week. not that i'm saying i'm exactly jealous of that. i'm glad i was smart and used a condom.
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i get to see joshie on friday! i haven't seen that kid in forever!!!:) (josh james btw.) haha.