the rings are black
around your eye
please

tell me what you want me to do
should i hold you close?
let you cry?

should i push you out the door?
should i push you to make that call?

your cheeks are swelling
pink and purple
with abuse
scratches mark your pale arm

"i can't call, i can't call just yet...i'm not ready"

i let you whisper your words
with breathe so faint it smells sweet
your lips don't move
tissue filling with blood

as you change your sweater
the strings quartet along the hem
the little things seem huge
the little things seem definite

"we'll wait until you're ready, but you will call soon"
my words come out forced, heavy
i want to hold you again
hold you so close, protect you from that man
you don't want to be protected

you want to run back to him

i'll lock the doors
cuff you to a chair
take the battery out of your car
let your keys suddenly disappear
before i'll willingly let you go

your sweater, it comes off around your head
your head hunched to your chest
i see the bruises
the extent of the torment, the tirade
the rage

i hate him

you're sad and i can feel that
with my heart
i suck at poetry.

No particular order.

Things To Do Before I Die:

1.) Pet a tiger.
2.) Travel to Europe. Explore.
3.) Own my own house.
4.) Have my own garden.
5.) Marry someone who I know will be the love of my life, and we will be together forever.
6.) Publish a book of poems.
7.) Write a children's book.
8.) Jump out of an airplane.
9.) Own my own shop. Preferably a Photography shop.

i'll work on this later.

if there's a story
i'll tell it


stars were our shelter
that corner lot
was our outlet

your kiss
was like the earth tilted
and tumbled back

faster than a second
but slower than a minute

you have been the only one
to speed up time
and slow it down
when your lips were on mine

God, that was so long ago
shouldn't i be thinking other things
sometimes you cross my mind

the pain is in my heart
for good, i guess
even when i see you now
see how bad you're doing
i see a boy

a boy who treated me badly
but i fell in love with anyway
a boy who was worthless
but was my whole world
i should have never let you

i should have never let you hold my hand
kiss me, or hug me
or tell me i was beautiful
with your hand resting on my chin
bringing my eyes to your's
kissing my lips
on the hot summer moon-lit path
i still think of those moments
wishing i was 17 again
you were nothing good
my 23 year old heart knows that


i saw you again the other night
it had been 4 years
your beard was gnarly, outgrown
your gut hung over your belt

i saw the boy underneath
my palms were sweaty
just like how they used to get
when i'd see you
standing outside in my driveway
waiting for me to come out

6 years later and you still do the same shit to me
you bastard
why don't i get some control?
i was longing for your arms to be around me
for you to speak to me
..

vivid memories still haunt me
i'll find someone someday
who will actually treat me well
who will prefer me to be their wife
instead of a convenience.

i need you to kiss me
i’m desperate
i need to be kissed by you
feel your touch
all over me

your hand running through my hair
your hot breathe on my moist neck
as i lick your ear
i desperately need you
to undress me
and take me in your arms for the night
its been too long of a day
for just a short conversation

my breathe is short and haste
i feel your smooth back
your arms
and i’m loving the shelter you instill
while you lay above me

everything around me disappears
as the motion commences between us
i’m locked to your eyes

my heart pounds
because we are speaking without words
and i find
nothing more in life scares me
sweat evaporates off our skin
and we lie for a minute

i don't feel the love like i used to
you couldn't get enough of me
you'd kiss my nose
and tell me you'd always sit with me
no matter where we were

for some odd reason
you promised me that
i guess so i'd never have to feel alone
whenever i was surrounded by people

i'd beckon you over
and you'd smile and sit next to me
hold my hand
and just sit
words not being enough
silence being perfect

50 years between us
and the only thing thats changed
is what's changed us for good
you don't smile at me anymore

when i beckon you over
i ask you to sit with me
you walk carelessly over a flower
grass underneath your feet
you sulk over