this land is mine.

i'm so worried about Sam its making me sick. I just got done talking to her about half hour ago and my stomach still hurts.
after we got off the phone i just laid there and cried. i wish there was something i could do. but the only thing i can do right now is pray. but i feel like thats not even enough.
i wish she was going through this situation when we were older so that i had a house she could come stay in.
i just wish she wasn't going through this situation at all. this isn't what her life should be like. she deserves better. she deserves someone better. she shouldn't have to worry about the kind of things she worries about. she doesn't even had underwear that fits her because she can't afford to buy a new pair.
i was telling her tonight about how i remember when she came home from the hospital along time ago and she said her and brad were done. and how i just remember thinking "thank you god, he's finally gone." I still feel like its my fault sometimes. Getting her into that situation...talking her into dating him. I don't think i could have changed her mind in the beginning. But at least i would have made some type of effort against going out with him. But nope...there i was...telling her she should date him. What could it hurt? if only i had known.
the only gifts out of this whole situation are the girls.

anyway.
still trying to figure out the whole comment situation. i think it has something to do with the HTML. which is unfortunate b/c i have no idea how to put in comments. i still need to fix the side bar. i just don't know what the heck i'm going put over there. haha.

i actually have tomorrow off. which will be nice. hours are getting cut next week though. you know..its really unfair. don't give me hours if you're just going to take them away. i was looking forward to the 34 hours. meant for money for Colorado. but now i'm not so sure. i'm thinking of applying somewhere like Afni or something. even though its kind of jankie. but ya know, whateve. at least i'd be working somewhere with dependable hours.

josh cracks me up. i love talking to him on the phone. he was reading the weather and telling me word for word what it said. "the winds will be gusting northeast" blah blah blah. lol. i eventually said that was enough but that didn't work so i just humored him.

i'm going to start liking simple plan so that kristen wasted $1.99 on her ringtone. and everytime i call she won't sing anymore. its really unpleasant. but...i'll change that. i'll start liking simple plan. yeah. right.