wondering why---who am i?

its hard making new friends and keeping them.
i think its the keeping them part thats the hardest. i'm very picky. if its one thing i find i don't like about someone---it tarnishes every thing else that i may like about that person.
i wish i wasn't like this and i wish i wasn't picky. i'm not sure why i am. i can't even say if its b/c i've lost friendships before. i'm not sure if its a trust issue or not. i just get this feeling that if we aren't going to go click right away---then we probably won't ever.
should i roll with that feeling and trust my gut instincts? or should i stick it out and wait to see what happens?
***
i wish people wouldn't lie to me. especially FAMILY.
:-(
breaks me heart quite frankly. i'm hoping once he/she is older---it'll be better. i wasn't exactly perfect when i was younger. i lied. mostly to my parents and even sometimes my friends:( mostly b/c i thought gossiping was more important. of course---i'm not like that anymore.

i don't lie. and if i do---then its huge and important. i feel no need in lying at all. it brings me down and makes me feel depressed. so i just DON'T. and anyway---its hard to cover your butt. its a snowball.
anywho.
haven't updated in here. thought i probably should.